Surrealism

 Today is the day i finally watched Severance. I watched it because I liked the vibe of that show , and I noticed that it has the elements of surrealism. Something like , a surrealist-horror show.

After watching episode 1 , I started to came up with many questions as I had already multiple theories on my mind of the visuals of the show. Not to mention about the context that is targeted to confuse the audience , but I'm not one of them-- I process the information in that show and try to analyze & come up with my own context/theory.

Usually , after watching an episode of a show/series I'm interested , I start to think various aspect of the show, mainly the concept and the plot-- what it's trying to conceive to the audience. This , pattern you see, has been going on since I'm 13.

As i begin to express my love for Severance, I asked my AI companion , of course-- Chatgpt , about the context and all. And I also asked shows that are similair to this one.

Turns out , there's nothing compared to Severance , sadly. I searched it up for a while but nothing attracts me as same as it. Plus , i need to be more careful since most of Surrealist-horror shows are NSFW.

One thing I start to notice about myself was , my head was full of thoughts, visuals of "surrealism",... I start to think and imagine about the vibe and context of the show , but I created in my own way , something like that.

"Who... are you'"

chuckels

"I'm you , silly", smiles

Yeah , that's the type of ahh I've been creating in my head after watching Severance.

I'm also knowing a bit of myself that , after discovering the term and genre of "surrealism" , it fits my style of thinking---

Overthinking.

I have this habit of zoning off for a while , sometimes it can be an hour or more, where after I hyperactively do on something or after doing my work, I started to look at something , and let all my thoughts I've been keeping roam free in my head and there it is , I start to think

Describing it feels way more harder than I thought it was... like i intended to write about it , but when i start to rite , it just goes.. away, as if the thoughts didnt exist in my mind.

From what i experienced earlier is , I keep creating scenarios of surrealism places that brings an unsettling feeling to myself.

Arghhh i dunnow how to explain , its like : i think , and I'm scared of my own thoughts.

scenarios where it's quiet... and suddenly after zoning off you noticed something odd in the distance; that's what ive been thinking.

Also , liminal and surrealist places will be getting me into more overthinking than usual. This is because while others think an empty space is more minimal and clears off the mind , im the opposite. It boosts my "thinking" of something--- it could sometimes goes off to random or a out of this reality thoughts , which people think I'm a lunatic person... 

DAH HABIS MID YEAR EXAMMMM

 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

salam gais.
Aku dah habis mid year form 4 exam aku. allah , penat gila... hari ni , aku buat amali. entahlah tapi memang aku rasa bodo la buat amali tu sebab aku tak reti nak buat eksperimen :( aku main hentam ja.

penat gila f4 gais... tak sangka sepenat camni... tambah-tambah lagi dengan keadaan aku yg tak stabil masa tu , tengok" dah exam dah.. like allah :(((

tapi memang banyak pengajaran aku dapat ambil setakat 5 bulan belajar ni. nasib sebelum SPM.

Cuti 2 minggu nak datang ujung bulan ni. AAAAAAA nak relaks kat rumah , baca buku dan tulis jaaa. yg tu je aku nak.

Overall , aku perasan tau satu pattern , yg sebelum ni aku sendiri pun tak pernah buat.

Pattern tu ialah... like bila-bila balik rumah , kan malam , jadi aku selalu buka video Dreamfibre and pasang lagu ambience dia untuk tenangkan minda LOL. Serious cakap , yg ni memang buat minda aku tenang. Sambil dengar tu aku bacalah buku...

Adui , bila buka computer ni , takde idea pula nak tulis. meluat aku. 

Sesuatu Pngajarn Part 3

 rasa unsettling , tak kena , etc

tapi

I just realized

yg tu semua buat penat minda je

sbb buat apa nak fikir kalau dah minta maaf semua , dah damai , etc

"you're just overthinking it"

orang lain dah berubah , hg yang dok menyusahkan diri sendiri

Termasuklah , mengambil kisah pasal kehidupan org lain

also , aku memang terkesan dgn kata" cikgu addmaths aku yg pesan kpd semua; Hablumminallah , wahablumminannas Berbuat baik kepada allah , dan berbuat baik kepada manusia

selama ni , aku langsung tak terfikir pasal ni

now, cerita aku ni, aku tak niat untuk sebarang pengaiban orang, nak memalukan orang , or whatsoever. Aku just nak cerita apa yang aku lalui & nilai serta pengajaran yang aku boleh share dekat korang

Sampai sekarang , im still trying to learn how to overcome the horrors of overthinking and looping those bad memories , that critically need to be removed from a student's life.

its important dayo

Jadi , apa yang aku nak simpulkan kat sini ialah: - jangan SESEKALI cuba untuk jadi emo , especially bila kau sedang menuntut ilmu. Bila emosi & mental kau yg kau jejaskan sendiri , memang pelajaran pun terkesan. So please , aku nak pesan supaya jangan mudah terpengaruh dekat Internet, macam those pinterest & whisper statements, "I rather be alone than socializing" ha yg tu antara media yang boleh influence minda kita untuk menjadi seseorang yang dipandang/dianggap terasing drpd org lain , tapi sebernannya tak. Kita sendiri je yg boleh berubah pandangan hidup kita.

- jgn overthinking , jgn sesekali menganggap kita ni seorang yang terasing dprd org yg lain, all those negative statements and thoughts you BUILD on your own. Malah , kita semua ni hamba Allah SWT yang sama. Kita semua manusia. Kita semua buat kesalahan. Apa yang terasingnya? Pada proses nak belajar ni sehinggalah menara gading , aku nak berpesan dekat aku dan para pembaca sekalian supaya fokus je dekat pembelajaran, bukan gaya/personaliti kita terhadap orang lain. Cuba tengok niat kita balik , apa tujuan kita ke sekolah setiap 5 hari seminggu? Adakah kita nak menuntut ilmu , atau sekadar pi balik sahaja?

Oh dan lagi satu. Masuk" je ke alam sekolah , mana" alam yang tempatnya untuk belajar ilmu , fikir positif sahaja. Sebab ilmu ni , takkan datang kalau kau yang asyik fikir negatif pasal orang di sekeliling kau, guru kau dan sebagainya. Serious cakap , sebab bila kita dah ada impression negatif tu , dia susah nak hilang, sebab semua tu andaian kita sendiri , malah kita belum lagi saksikan perkara yang sebenar. So aku nak ajakkan semua untuk berfikir postif, jom. Takmau dah ada negative thoughts , semua sangkaan buruk , dan lain" lagi lah yang menggangu ketenteraman hati dan minda kau sendiri. Kau sendiri yang tahu diri kau mcm mana.

Aku bukanlah seorang yang kuat atau alim agamnya , cumanya aku memang tahu ada hikmah di sebalik ujian yang aku lalui ini.

Proses nak menghilangkan sesuatu tu agak susah , tetapi sabar. Aku mesti sabar sebab bila aku yakin , output dia akan suatu hari nanti berjaya dihasilkan. It just needs usaha and tawakal, lillahita'ala

Sayang , aku tak berapa cekap untuk memasukkan sebarang hadis yang sesuai untuk situasi sekarang.

So korang , kalau ada ape" komen , jemputlah contact owner channel ni yg korg jumpa dekat bio. Aku memang open dekag sesiapa yg ingin komen, cumanya kena mesej secara personal.