Review of a day

 Its 12 am now.. i should be sleeping.

But not yet , i have to record this day as i havent done a single study. Since i am experiencing health issues , i do not have the power and motivation to do my regular tasks and routines as well. I am sincerely apologizing for myself as I didnt go to school for the last 4 days. 

As finals is in just a month , i am getting that semester ending now; yes the horror; the anxiety: that is what i am feeling as September comes.. desire drive will often play in my head as it is time for form 3 to come an end nearly.

Basically today , i did nothing as I did at home. The mucus in my nose is filling up the sensory cells for the past 5 days... I am experiencing the sickness phase as that sense of smell is blocked , rather than smelling the fresh, clean air with unblocked nose. This brings a big impact to my emotions as well, because i often flashback memories everytime i get this phase , so you might notice my recent blogs are related to the past.

I just wanted to tell everyting that I've encountered on the internet lately for today. Just not to waste all my energy for what i did.

One of the most used apps for me was Youtube , and Pinterest. 

Note that i am that type of person who is alone; i am really active online .

Firstly, i'd like to summarize that watching youtube for a long time is really wild; delusional even...

I am so bersyukur to my beloved country where its so peaceful here. I mean , there could be crimes and all, but not as bad as our neighbouring countries like Myanmar, Indonesia and Philipines and any other countries that are in ASEAN list.

Just watched a vid about my age already has 赤ちゃん. I literally shooked while watching how their hometown looks like-- a monstrous , corrupted city... It really does look nightmarish to me.

I also looked up about rohingyas ; the runaway people form their homecountry Myanmar. In short , muslims were kicked and a lot of human trafficiking were going in that country; but this is just Myanmar... Theres other chaotic countries like Thailand -- where they accept gay marriages... EW!!!!

Not to mention that Indonesia also has the violence and conflict going around... 

i really berzikir a lot tadi ; showing a sign of appreciation and my gratefulness that I live in a country where none of that happened , alhamdulillah. 

Also , in conjuction with this month's MERDEKA!!! CELEBRATION , i finally found the meaning of merdeka throughout my scrolling of those domestic and wild countries... I really wanted to cry honestly... I finally get that pengajaran and nilai murni as they always say in thosr textbooks... I think i am beggining to develop a new self of mine :')

But really, in reality i really felt sad watching our cousins and siblings out there , crying for help as there are those idiotic people who dont have humanity values and sympathaty... 

Now , i will cherish the real definition of Malaysia's hospitality <3 i felt comfort in my own country , even though i didnt go luar negara yet haha.

Tanggal 31~

Merdeka~!! :D

Okay, so next , i wanted to talk about internet and its famous child; pornographism.

Yes , if you read my previous blogs , there's one called "Internet and Otak Kuning" in malay, but in this blog , i'll just write it in short.

Bosan tengok youtube , aku tengok pinterest pulak untuk tengok content lawak.

When my intention was to just open my save , clean board away from those nasty and dirty pins in pinterest's algorithm , i got carried away with the pins below the video that i was cureently watching.. and down the rabbit hole it goes: i watched and watched every single vidoes that mr p. had recommended me.

And i'll tell you what; everytime i see a single , post of a video in pinterest , i really felt that sense of suspicious-ness is containing in that video. 

I quickly istighfar when i see a kemungkaran/kemaksiatan happening in those vids.. aduh, now this is what i call brainrotting (

I just wanted to warn my readers to not recommended to watch the vids on pinterest as they have some nudity and explicit content -- if you do wanted it sm you'll have to becareful by just looking and guessing at the thumbnails; or you'll fall in one of those traps... 

Okay , so finally before i go to sleep , my last discussion of tonight is of :

"Artists on the Internet and their so called NSFW habitat."

Heh, seems like another title for a blog entry right? Nah!!! XD

But it seems cool for a title tho... WAHHHH!! 😭😭

Anyways, to explain what i've encountered in really , really short summary ;

Looking back at the channels i used to watch back in the early sweet days of 3rd grade i really like this one channel called 'Geo exe'

About an hour ago i came back again at his(?) channel and i wanted to deep dive more into his identity since his artstyle was really good and pleasantly in the eyes of a teenager. 

And so , i clicked one of his social links and what a suprise; its full of girls with big b's.

Bukan nak mengaibkan dia tapi memang dia post sah2 dekat public tho 😮‍💨 

Looking back at his youtube channel again i already noticed before this that his artstyle has some R18 elements... ( Nak kata DAH AGAK DAH!!!!)

After moments searching for this account's identity , i thought the user was a girl at first , guessing by the pfp of the channel , but i really think the user is a he, based on the majority of how he draws his oc and all; and the girls too. 

Man , diving into every artist's twitter account is just really massive compared of what they showcased on any other platforms.. why does it have to be twitter that shows the worse sight of them ughhhh

To my suprise again he wasnt a japanese either; he was in Chile... :/ hhhh i thought he was japanese!!!!

Nah , whatever that doesnt matter lolz. 

What im trying to say here is that most artist of the 21st century is widely exposed to NSFW related stuff; mostly in pornography... Im really scared that without being thought the sexual education and islamic (or any religious beliefs) properly , the upcoming generation that will take over our society will increasingly lead to a dark history; titim hitam dan hati gelap. They will also sponsor the appearance of Dajjal I'll say. Haha, amik ko.

Akhir zaman , nak kata ape? check mic plzz HAHA

Tapi serious do , dajjal bukan perkara main2. Dia tu yg mengakui tuhan punnn orang bodoh je yg bole ikut. Orang beriman shj yg boleh survive zaman tu. 

 So this is what im tring to say; be a person who has strong iman , and never follow the society , ever. Follow the sunnah and quran. 

I WILL explain longer about pornography and the impact towards our society in this modern day generation. Nyum, this is going to be sooooooo crunchy to write and its so delicious for a philosophy and theory topic!! Yayzies!!! :3

Okay , i think that's all for now. Its currently 1 am , i should be waking up for tahajjud. Until then , cya.

Favourite Game Lane #1 [pt 1]

 When it comes to breakcore and bullet hell, you know that combination is already my type of games. Today i present to you:

PICAYUNE DREAMS!!!

REALLY LIKE THE STYLE OF THIS GAME!!! >:D

Even though i just watch the gameplay on youtube , it seems so COOKING!!! yeeeeeee i cant specifically describe how i love this game... The atmosphere , the characters looking pixelated BUT IT SEEMS NOT PIXELATED LOOKS SO STUNNING!!! 

As usual , the art is done by Andyland and the music was composed by Milkypossum. 

First of first , I wanted to talk how the plot of this game goes.

Okay hear me out though , I didnt go deep dive into the game's stoyline carefully and detailed , i just skimmed thru and made my own conclusion HAHA. I know i might be wrong , but this is just from my perspective.

From my perspective , it seems that a group of selected peeps are chosen to fight anomalies in the outer space. They worked for the government and they are the only hope that could save the world. Friends, families, and, of course, society congratulated you as you signed the contract, saying that you would risk your entire life becoming a warrior in the deep, black-pitched space surrendered by heavenly, and enormous, unknown creatures.

The player will spawn as a beautiful , astronaut-suited red hair girl. Her name is Cyl!! Really like her! 

Overall , for the game plot , it's understandable , compared to Touhou. 

Picayune Dreams > Touhou!!

Because touhou is so confusing yet the series isnt connected. To me , its just a bunch of random characters with mixed , different stoylines...

So next is the character design. Now , this is the part i really like to talk about.

I mean , look at Cyl , she's the main protagonist of the game! And every protagonist ought to have a stunning character design to attract people!!! For Cyl , i think her design really fits well and blends in with the game's style that focuses on boss fights, bullets and the atmosphere of chaos!

hehe , someday i;ll raw her :3

apart from Cyl , there's also characters like izu , harley and matt. Although they dont have the full character close-up , i could imagine how they would look like , as seen from the small version.Oh , and also the what is it called again..? the abnormalities>? yeah i think that is it. 

After the gang has been corrupted and became abnormalities , they have switched from their human form to another level. I really think the abnomality design is so cool because they are unique; they have heir own game's identity..

The anomalies design is also CRUNCHY TOO! omg looking at just the enemies and the boss , the design really fits so well with the atmosphere!!! 

will continue this in pt 2 , byeee

Websites/Apps I would build

 Man , do you guys always get that hesitation feeling when you're just recovered from your recently sickness and you had to get back after a long time of not studying? Yeah , that is what i'm feeling rn.... :[

Sadly , i always use notion for my productive tool to keep me organized and keep clear of my works.. 

But reality , you know how it is; capitalism.

The other day , when i opened my notion, it said you have use ur max number of blocks ☻

and i was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

what i mean to say here is that , i'd like to create a platform where it's interactive , a all-you-can-do stuff , and i need somehow a system that , whenever you complete a thing todo/tasks/goals , i want it to have some character saying YAYYY and confetti starts flooding up ur screen. 

unlike other apps/websites that whenever you've accomplished ur task , it would immediately just cross the task that you've typed , just let it be there. It's soooo boring!! Those are just for old people!!! ughhh!!!

next , i wanted to build an educational Islamic app , since as a teenager , I kinda found most islamic content on the internet urmmm kinda boring to me , it makes me feel mengantuk , so i whenever i have the desire to enter to learn islam , i must get my 100% energy + its on my bucket list + i have the motivation to learn.

I also found islamic content like Free Quran Education quite not suitable to me because i found the drawings "meragukan" jiwaku , i mean they put hamzah onthe character's eyes...

I still haven't found the answer yet to the hadis saying that it is prohibited to draw living stuff. But for now , after doing sum research , i found that it's okay as long as it's education-related. IAnd to my perspective towards that hadith , i think muslims are prohibited to draw potraits are real life stuff...

I mean , look at Boboiboy and Upin and Upin , they are 3d and they're animated!! and look at Omar and Hana D:

I just need to discuss this topic with Ustad/Ustazah , the only problem is i dunno who to find T_T

okay , so back to my app , i just wanted to build a platform that makes islamic content more interesting and interactive , with cute & chibi characters aside! :D i mean , it's not possible to make an app where you can spread dakwah by inserting comics that has the elements of islam , and not just boring text, right? 

lastly , I also wanted to build a video game!! The video game is mostly related to Saikonika ; i'll explain a bit more detailed abt that project .

Oh my gosh , you will not believe how my mind is full of ideas related to that game! Im just not sure what name to give it. Saikonika: The Video game? hehe... 

Reaaaaaaaaaaaally inspired by Killtube : 

THE GRAPHICS!! ITZ REALLY COOOL!! :D

OH MY GOOOSSHHHH ITS COMING NEXT YEAR! MY SWEET 16 IS GOING TO BE AWESUM!!!!!!!!!

Well , for my idea , my game is going to be alot for educational purposes. It's fun , but its combined with scientific , mathematics and ofc Islam elements so that you won't feel guilty playing that game for hours! :D

Insyaallah , will add it on my " AKTIVITI LEPAS SPM 2027!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Im really fascinated by the backgrounds of chronocross too , as seen from this playlist:

Wondering what will my game look like though... hrmm :P

There's a lot more that I am really inspired , mostly Andyland's Endacopia and Picayune Dreams~

My favourite song - F.S.R

 

Malas nak tukaq font , so i'll just type in times roman ;-;

This is one of my favourite songs.. i discovered this game soundtrack on pinterest. It brings a sense of nostalgia and remembering back to the past , where happy memories came to an end , or even the day ends with the sunset rays; reflecting back what you did today.

This songs brings mixed feelings... 

Feelings that words can't describe... (ceyh) 

It creates a scenario where you're just standing somewhere ; on the hills , or even in ur bedroom , reflecting back to the moments that make u happy and then back to the present.. 

Bertafakur , I'll say.

One of the phrase that is most repeated in this song is どうか, which means "I beg you"

In this context , the singer begs the person to dance with her in the rain. 

That's all for Marrisa's Blurbs of her favourite songs. Until next time...

Breezy Schoolday

 While waiting for the doctor , just wanted to share something abt today. :P.

It seems not so interesting , but i think its a gem in the end. (Ceyh)

Today was ok. i went early. Like 6.53 am :D

The first 2 things in my mind was :

- that ugly and rotten landscape art project

-the forgotten umbrella i left last Thursday (today is Monday.).

So i went up the school , grab that art project and went searching the umbrella around while my parents were down the hill....

Sadly , after asking a makcik cleaner , she said i have to find the lost , old and the non-existent pakcik cleaner.... 

In the end , last week was packed with rainy days. So, byebye red umbrella~ °^°

At last , perhimpunan time... 

stand at the ground sepeti biasa until 8 am.... 

ughhhhhhhh 

Fast foward i got sick my throat hurt and a runny nose memsmksjfuaia

And here i am at the clinic waiting for the mc.... 

huhu.... 

not feeling well

 Hai gaiz

today started with a slow and steady Mnday... But it all turned down into a sorrow... 

Well yesterday I ate murtabak daging. You guys dunno how IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!! 😭😭😭💥💥💥

In the car rn going to the clinic :(

i guess i will not go to school for 2 days , insyaallah huehue 🙂‍↕️

my throat hurts...

doakan aku , fellow non-existent fans...

Someone stalking me?

 

yo

baru seminit je aku post , dah ada 1 view tengok.

pelik gila.

creepy la woi

Internet & Otak Kuning pt1

 hai gais

harini dan kali ni , aku nak serious sikit.

Kemaksiatan akhir2 zaman ni memang berleluasa. Hands down , memang jelas dinyatakan di mana2 pun. Tengoklah , dekat internet pun macam2 benda pelik tgh berlaku. Risaulah generasi sekarang, apakebenda diorang tgk pun mesti ada unsur kemaksiatan , tak kira di youtube , netflix , pengaruh rakan sebaya , tiktok, insta dan banyak platform lagi yg aku taktau.

Tanpa pendidikan agama , memang iman dan taqwa lenyap begitu sahaja.

Bukan nak jadi ustazah , tapi ini hanya sekadar pandangan daripada seorang remaja perempuan..

Manusia ni ; dia ada pilihan nak jadi apa sekalipun. To know or not to know ; that is the only thing YOU have to decide. 

aku terinspire daripada kata2 seorang tokoh ni :

aku memang taktau nak elaborate mcm mana , tapi memang hidup ni bebas. you can do whateever you want. but if you are free too much , you might ended up troubling yourself too if you don't have the guidance to the right path that you're living in now.

i know my writing skills are a bit novice , but i'll try my best to explain all my thoughts here.(mixed malay + english)

Zaman ni , manusia memang ada banyak kemudahan. From radios to AI apps , it's all accessible and free for all.

okay , its belatiaq time.

 im not going to share my story , but this is just my theory. my pov , so dont take it seriously. feel free to share yours on the comments 

First of all , internet memang main peranan untuk menghiburkan manusia. besides helping and making our lives more easier and faster , internet also is popular for entertaining everyone in their daily lives. some of it could be fun and enjoyable for all , like cat videos! mr bean! cartoons! 

But there's a bigger , much wider and complex content than all of that --- NSFW stuff. 

(NSFW = Not Safe For Work)

i'll continue.

NEWS FROM AUGUST 2025! ~random topics~

 

HELLO EVERYONE! Its been a while! I miss you , blogger! We are going to create wonderful memories here together, 2025. 

Ive got a lot to tell , really! Things happened a lot and its chaotic! 

As you've all known ( ceyh anggap dah ada followers & fan dah dia ni) , I am lately into Spacehey; a retro social network platform! Well , since then unfortunately i have to unfriend all of my old friends cuz:

1) many people ( a large group ) of lgbt communities is spreading , so i unfriended all of the people who are into in lgbt cuz i find them sesat. [ This is just my pov ]

2) mentally retarded group of teenagers ( as seen in their profiles which they display inappropriate content. ) 

3) privacy. Those who i seen them as suspicious people , i immediately remove all of them

tbh , its quite hard to find the perfect match of people in Internet rather than real life lol... Spacehey could be quite wild with orang yang asing dari dunia ni. 

niat aku suci je; find interesting people i want to talk to; thats all.... just want to bring back the old memories i could connect with people and talk about fun stuff we are both interested in.

Anyways , I really like to find autobiographical books ; writing about themselves.. just their thoughts and the reader. one of my favourite is Once upon a miao miao and Catatan Matluthfi. I've wrote the book in my spacehey account.

Update after searching his yt account: Woah , he looks so cool. He is really like the TOMSKA of M'sia!! Man , he has like 400k subscribers! Bapak ah! Hmm memanglah , youtuber dari 16 tahun lalu... memang patut dapat subscribers gitu banyak...

Woah , i cannot imagine a Malaysian living in the 2010s era. I mean , what if that person has experienced that era where eddsworld was popular and he was alive and active , vocaloid songs and memes , touhou stuff , giyomi trend , genki rocket songs , and malaysian famous youtubers , bloggers and those cellphone sending stuff(?) oh my gosh.. i couldnt imagine that 'someone' it must be nostalgic. 

But the fact that I , too , has also experienced and watch all those seems hmm..? Maybe i was 'that person'. XD even though i was born in 2010 , i still get the chance to experience the 2010 stuff a lil bit , just little late , which is 2015. Yeah , i started to watch videos on youtube when i was 5. 

And here I am , writing this blog 10 years later listening to Capsule playlist!!!

My honest reaction! This playlist is so lit! Luv it! 

The urge to dance to my fav songs while raving with glowing sticks and wristbands.

okay , continue back to Matluthfi , as i said i found his book on my local school library . 

I kinda feel envy and jealous for him tho... he has his wife , went to UK , has a little sibling and he gets to experience the teenage life back in the 2000s... man , life must be so much fun back then... no tarriffs, old internet and more...

As i read the book , i wonder if i , too could be someone like him.. an influencer , but in an educated way. No , not like im saying the influencers out there has no education , but i want to influence people oriented by islam and my way of life lol

dunnolah , nanti lagi 10 tahun aku fikir. masih muda , baru 15 tahun. masih banyak lagi nak tempuh;. nak cakap dengan orang pun dah tergagap. nak berdepan dengan antagonist X pun entah papa. astu nak tulis buku pasal diri sendiri. wadidau. melampau.

haish , tkpelah. selagi aku aktif dekat blogger ni pun jadi. walaupun xde orang yang dekat dengan aku , aku tau dan yakin Allah SWT sentiasa ada dengan aku. walaupun aku dekat ssini tulis sorang" , jadilah/.... asalkan segala luahan ketika ini wujud , supaya masa depan ku bahagia.. kan? XD

kepada sesiapa yang baca ni , aku tau ko tak faham so camtulah. aq taktau nak kata ape lagi.

TODAY IS MY BDAY!

 yes , everynyan.... 
its my bday.
woo!

FINALS IN JUST 2 MONTHS!

 HAI GAIZ!!

I am back.... I finished school and I am so excited to write this blog, i have just about 5 minutes X)

this year has been busy ,.. my birthday is just tomorrow , library is having a big update , and i bought a trolley in my room!! I also purchased minecraft! it's so fun! XD

my biggest project this year is creating an ai that helpslearning sign language. its quite hard for me as i have to work with others .. i still havent found a software to develop.. this is my biggest mission yet..

i also have finished watch MIU 404. It was so great. Ibuki and Shima did bring that alpha male aura haha 

From there , I discovered a website for japanese drama/anime transcripts. Sadly , MIU 404 didnt have but i think there's a scenario book in kinokuniya, might check it....